Just over a year ago, we were still adjusting to life with you. You were not even 3 months old when I wrote you your first love letter. Now a year later, about to welcome your baby sister, I have so much more to say to you.
“Middle child syndrome” is something I’ve heard a lot. And to be honest, I thought it was a bunch of bs whenever anyone said anything about it. But now that I’ll have a “middle child” of my own, it crosses my mind quite often.
You never got the same attention as your brother. He drains me constantly, and I feel bad that there’s so little of me left over for you. No bedtime snuggles, no stories before we put you down. I’m usually just so exhausted and ready to only deal with one child that you get a quick hug and kiss and to bed you go.
You never got homemade fruit squeezes or a consistent breakfast/lunch/dinner. Most days it’s whatever we can get your picky brother to eat, or sometimes what we’re eating if I happen to have dinner ready before you go to bed. Some nights it’s a nutrigrain bar and yogurt, and I just pray that one day I will have my life together enough to provide you with a proper meal.
Missed naps, and what’s routine? I can’t stand to be cooped up in the house with your brother bouncing off the walls, so a 90 minute morning nap that you need becomes a 20 minute car nap. I feel like all your activities revolve around what your brother needs, because he’s more vocal and I guess the squeaky wheel gets the oil.
It’s a balance I haven’t mastered. I feel like you’ve gotten the short end of the stick your whole life. And now you have to share me again, this time with a baby. Sometimes I feel guilty and sad, thinking you’ll feel you’ve been ignored your whole life.
But let me tell you. You are the sweetest soul. You share openly with your brother and strangers alike. Even when Everett gets in time out for hitting you, you immediately try to get to his side to comfort him. If he snatches a toy from you and we take it to give back to you, you hand it right back to your brother. You roll with the punches, and don’t care about dinner because you love nutrigrain bars anyway.
You’ll never be a “middle child” to me. You’ll always be my mama’s boy. My youngest son who showed me true joy in motherhood again. My boy with the sweetest dimple, and a smile that melts my heart. You remind me to forgive quickly and that siblinghood is a gift. I know you’ll be the best big brother to your little sister. And you will always have your own special spot in our family and in my heart.